This is not a satire. I am not spoofing you. What I’m telling you is the truth. A radical feminist website is warning all of you who are pet owners not to misgender your pets. You could hurt them without knowing it! I am not making this up.

According to an article by Christie on Medusa Magazine (subtitled “Feminist Revolution Now”), “You may think it is of no importance whether you gender your pets but why would you do such a thing to such an important member of your life? Pets cannot speak for themselves. They cannot tell you that they are being misgendered. It’s important not to make assumptions about what gender your animal is based off of its sex.”

Yes, Christie tells us, “Animals can have diverse genders just like humans, and they can have diverse sexualities also. Sexuality and gender are separate issues also but as an example of how animals can be incredibly diverse, there are in fact gay animals and even animals capable of changing their sex.”

Really? Changing their sex? I take it, then, that somewhere out there, there’s a Great Dane who is the equivalent of Bruce “Caitlyn” Jenner, born a virile male but now identifying as female? Or maybe there’s a female to male chimpanzee somewhere in a jungle? Is this what Christie’s implying?

But this is not just a matter of abstract speculation. Christie has some practical recommendations.

She writes, “If you love and care for your pet it is important not to misgender them. Try to give them a gender-neutral name instead and calling them gender neutral pronouns like they and them.” After all, your pets are not just animals to you, right? Plus, this is “an important way to practice getting rid of gender norms all together.”

So, by using gender neutral names, perhaps like Doggie for your dog, you get to kill two birds with one stone. You don’t psychologically wound your pet, and you take another step towards ridding society of those oppressive “gender norms,” as in “male” and “female.”

All this, however, forces me to ask some pertinent questions. Does Christie really believe that if you call your male dog Butch when he thinks he’s really Buffy, he’ll be able to distinguish between the two names? Will he wonder, “Why did my owner give me a masculine name?”

Does she think a male canine will recognize Prince to be a male name and Prissy to be a female name? Does she believe that when you say to him, “Good boy!” he’ll be wondering to himself, “Why did my owner call me boy? I’m a girl!”? And what about if you dress him in a male-dog rain coat? Will he be saying to himself, “This is not who I am!”?

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SOURCE: Ask Dr. Brown